17th Post

An eclipse and starshine.
Tonight we just put down our routine and reflect on something beutiful (word for the reader: I hate the words beutiful and love, i use them when its nesasary, to me the words go hand in hand something that is beutiful is something that you can fall in love with. those words are over used and have lost all their meaning in the society we live today). This might not happen for another couple years. I cryed a bit today. See my mom went off to college in Sweetwater TX, ive never heard of it either, and recently my sister re-enrolled to Texas Tech. Now our house of 5 shrunk down to a party of 3 just the boys, my dad,brother, and me. Every day i have to bum a ride to get home because when i get out of school my brother is at skool till 9 and works nights, and my dad gets home at 11pm. I am alone till at least 12. Sure having no supervision has its perks, but today i took a trip back to a better place, My house exactly one year ago. it was all of us living under one roof and wakeing up early to sing happy birthday to my dad. We had cake and coffee and it was off to school. on the weekends we would eat breakfast together and talk about our week ahead and past, its always been like that. but today when i took some time off from my routine, i talked to my sister, my mom, my dad, and ate dinner with my brother. Its been so fucking long that i dont talk to them on the same day it just made me wonder so many things and made me thank God that i have a family that is so connected, but what got me is not going to leave my head for a while.

Was last year the last time we would living under the same roof?
sadly i think it is. See, my brother is 22 and my sister is 23, both are working on higher education and once they finish, they are going to be full "adults", probly lookin to settle down. as for me i would be done with highskool and probly started college. By this time our future is not at my parents house. so, now i come to realize i wont be waking up on saturday and eating breakfast with my family. it sux. i took it for granted and now i shed tears of remorse. Though its not bitter remorse i now know why people like to take life to its fullest. i learned a hard leason, but it will help me. its true. It really is the little things in life that make it worth living. i miss my family.

Good night