20 December 2008

Instant communication

[I could easily make this into a sort of personal thing, but why bother?]

The thing is, this instant communication thing is not kind. The moment you have a deep imperial thought, it is known to the rest of the world. "A man can live and feel the top for a moment" that's the instant of what people live on. These peaks of grandeur, adrenaline, deep insight. For some people, those are the points when life matters.

The thing is, when I see it, the graph almost resembles a jagged mountain. You see the small peaks, you see the small slopes downward and upward. But this all leads to not appreciating what is really around you, living in the "moment".. Not really taking into account what... God has given you. (but who's to say they don't?)

Although, some might consider God, it is not a sure insight of what they feel. Arrogance is a bitch.

For many people the small breaks that life brings them, are motivation to keep going for the next break. For me, it's more like, the small breaks are a part of something bigger. So I better keep going. I'm not riding the wave, I'm a part of it.

"Conformity is okay, only if it keeps you going forward"

[wow, that's kinda redundant]

08 December 2008

It's going to be a fair December.

This is when it's finally making sense.

I'm home. HOME. I'm a homeboy. I love being home. I had forgotten how good it feels, how much of you is part of home, how much home is you. I can't believe how much I've been able to figure out. Why, is not a question anymore, it feels like an answer. I'm not sure how much this is going to last, but I think it will.

Love.

Life.

Happiness.

Home.

That's what I've been taught. That's what I see. I'm happy when I'm home. I feel needed at home. I like being needed. It keeps that drive going. It sucks whenever you notice that some people don't need you, but fuck it. Sometimes you don't need people either. So fuck it. Live it, love it and be cool with those who are cool with you.

You never know when one of those will have your back.

And at home, you know where you're really at.