58th Post

C+++Me=bored

Yeah, you guessed it, im sitting in the intro to C++, no wonder java dot sucked. but it's pretty funny to see all the people on myspace and other various social networking sites, who knew people still used friendster. To my left a guy trying to stay up, to my right some other guy looking at me write and eat seeds, oh yeah, seeds. Those good one's too, Frito Lay.

Some guy is playing a fusion of streetfighter and fighterjets. It looks fun, i want to play but i got to class late and i got stuck with the crappy computer with a borked mouse. It really wasn't borked when i got here. But i saw an opportunity to save some other guy from using the only trackball in the school. So i decided to clean it, in dooing so i managed to kill its clickability and movement. I just want to go home and play the Sims 2....

I <3 Melina

yes...

57th Post

We'll see what happens.

A new face, a new time, and a new place. I'm aiming towards updating once a week about random shit that hapens, or mabe if this class gets too boring. C++, ugh.

Well, lets see, DeVry is pretty cool, people are kinda gay outside of the engineering programs. I never knew how intence a Magic game could get... I swear im going to mess up their cards. But for the most part people are nice or at least scared of me.

I miss home, i miss my bed, and i miss not naving to worry about money. But i really miss Melina, she is pimp.

Facebook is the shit.

I've been playing Monopoly non-stop and i looked back at how my cousins and i used to play. Too funny, too funy. Secret passages, credit cards, property wageing, and statues. We had the real market down. Monopoly is the shit, especially because im an idiot and play on the computer.

Craigslist.org, FTW. If you dont know what it is, you don't belong on the internet.

Class is over.

homestarrunner.com
You know you havent checked it in a while, do so.

56th Post

Man I am a fuck up...

What has happend you say? A lot actually, ive stabbed someones back, someone has stabbed my back, i moved out, i cryed, i loved, i lost, i gave, i received, people hate me, people liked me, people like me, people REALLY hate me, people miss me, people love me, people dont miss me, people are happy, and most importantly, some people want me gone...They won.

God damn it, i am a big loser. It's funny when people start to hate, mainly because when they do i really have no defence to it... Take what i have done over the past couple weeks, don't pretend you havent heard about it. There is no one to blame but me, i lost a good friend, respect, honor, and alot of sprouting friendships. O well, i guess that's life.

Today i heard something that realy hurt, i have no idea what to do, and at the moment no one has told me what happend. I really dont think everyone knows but they will in a couple days, if not hours, lets see who will be cool enough to tell me the details i want to hear. fuck it if they don't. I'm done fucking around. I'm just burnt out, i dont have time to care. I have to worry about surviving in a town where 3 murderers are runing around, i have to go to the store, have to work, school, socialize with new people, clean up, feed myself, work, school, homework, study for the god damn test. It is just too much to even think about. If i can get rid of one thing on my fucking to do list, it would be awsome, but i really dont want to. Fuck it if it happens, i dont give a fuck anymore. But i am willing to keep it IFF there is a chance for the future. It sucks getting rid of somehting in this way, just so abruptly, so dirty, but in the end it was my fault, my own actions led to it. I guess happyness was only in our filtered sleep deprived, lonely, hurt mind and hearts....fuck it, that shit is gay.

As for my Vista safari venture...that was fun. It looks promising and it ran stable on my little box, but I needed something finished and clean, something that wont crap out on me within the next year. I'm glad my school gives me a free copy of office and XP. YAY

Call me if you want.
I dont give a fuck.

55th Post

Vista FTW!

As probably stated in a past babble, I am constructing a $0250 PC [The extra 0 adds flavour]. Naturally a self proclaimed pirate would just get an Ultimate XP .iso, but I just don't feel like going around the internet for some Windows Updates. So the question comes up; What OS will I use?

LINUX??! [OMG hax!]
Nah, but I did think about it, mabe I will collect some cans to dual boot off another SATA drive. Ubuntu is the distro I would probably use. Even though I do like KDE interfaces a bit more.

OS X?
You nubs, MAC suxors. Not really, I'm just too old to get used to the interface. Besides, I haven't heard of anyone doing this with a "normal" MOBO... I could be wrong though.

"Then what OS will you use ?"
The answer? Windows Vista (Beta 2) Yes ladies and gentlemen, I am going to give you the experience of a lifetime...maybe not. But it will probably be fun, mainly because of the computer I am going to run it on, it may cause me much frustration, and we all know how I get when I get frustraded. Clicken

Here are Windows Certified system requirements for this Beta:

A Windows Vista Capable PC includes at least:

• A modern processor (at least 800MHz¹).
• 512 MB of system memory.
• A graphics processor that is DirectX 9 capable

A Windows Vista Premium Ready PC includes at least:

• 1 GHz 32-bit (x86) or 64-bit (x64) processor¹.
• 1 GB of system memory.
• A graphics processor that runs Windows Aero².
• 128 MB of graphics memory.
• 40 GB of hard drive capacity with 15 GB free space.
• DVD-ROM Drive³.
• Audio output capability.
• Internet access capability.

My Rig will be:
1.7Ghz Sempron 64-Bit [I will probably OC to 2.0 GHz....Probably]
A stick of PC 3200 512MB Ram [ Who needs dual channel?]
SATA II 80GB 3.0GB/s HD [I hope it won't blow up!]
GeForce 6200 LE [Homer-esq mmm-hm-mmm?]

There you have it folks, an almost decent machine....how it will run Vista? I really don't know, but you all will read my posts that will cover in detail how I work with Vista, at least until my product key runs out. Every time you see this! " Carlos's Vista (Beta 2) Safari " you will read about my likes and dislikes of Vista.

Why am i doing this?
- I don't know, it's fun to make crap machines work fine. On top of which, I really think this kernel is going to pwn.

As a poor student, I really can't shovel up the money for some benchmarking software, nor do I want to get any type of profesional review. I just really want to show people if Vista might be worth the upgrade. If I can get the damn thing to run some games then I will be happy. I will show FPS stats for some cool games, maybe Americas Army, Command and Conquer, Warcraft, just anything I can get my hands on. But mainly I will use it for school work, surfing the web, and watching media. If Vista can change the way I do stuff, then you will hear about it.

My next post will probably be about the install of Vista.

Who reads this anyway?

LOL!

Vista, you must not know who I am.

54th Post

JAJAJAJA...Ok, I don't get it.

I think I'm going to end up with a Wii and an X-Box 360. Why? Mainly because of the arrow pointing to the dominance of HD-DVD over blue GAY...Get it? It's a joke! But mainly because of Sony's wanting to be more than a damn "nintendo" i'm talking abou their hopes of replacing a home theatre, desktop, and gaming console. Also, if sony hopes to get my money on their console they better be beating some fabulous gameplay that the Wii will offer. Also, fucking money man, with the price that Sony has announced, i could probly get me a nice dual core gaming rig. Sorry sony, but posibly the only way i will get the PS3 is if A)somone gets it for me [wink wink] B) if it is dropped to a reasonable price. C) MGS4 is PS3 exclusive... Yeah, i know what you guys are thinkning now, "Weren't u the one that said MS is a crap company that doesn't deserve to be in the gaming market"

Yes, i did say that, but look at what they have accomplished for us.
Their LIVE sistem will now cross platform from PC to X-box
[damn fps on console is better fanboys will finally be put down]

They actually managed to make an ALMOST bug free product on their first attempt.

Longhorn (hehe) doesn't seem all that bad, alot of cool fetures seem to be coming out, to HELP the avg user. ZOMG!

Their new design seems to of been reserched alot. Most gamers are in love with the 360 controller, mainly because it WAS developed for bitchy gamers that cant understand good gameplay. Kudos

Now, there are the damn PS3 Fanboys that give me the guff of
"But the prossesor is going to be 4.6ghz and multicore!"
i think,damn that is going to be a fucking expencive "computer". I prefer a computer.

"but you can put full functioning LINUX on them!"...
Big mistake sony. hax, it's all i'm saying...not only the console and other games, but online play will sufer with aimbots and automated bots ruining gameplay... Poor suckers that mine silver the honest way.

I beter see solid snake on the 360 or beter yet. Wii

now to the grown up stuff...

I have no money to pay for college and i don't even know where i'm going to stay out in phoenix...

Funny....

53rd Post

Yeah, you guessed it, more rants and my "phylosoficul" drivel!

It's all over? Are you serious? So fuckin bad ass. I can't stop laughing at the fact that i am an "adult". I have to become a functional part of society, i dont want people eating me when i die! I need to be mummified and be in a museum standing all pimp. Yeah, thats it. But for now i need to make all my school arrangements and acctually go. Why is it so scarry that in a months time i will no longer be in my cubby hole, secure with all the stuff i need, with all the people i like, just to be sent to hells wating room by myself in a city i dont know, with only my school work to keep me company...hell, no wonder i don't want to leave! JAJAJAJA. i thnk its funny so sthu. But i guess it's something every person is thinknig about at this time. Even the people staying here, they are probably wondering what now? What, SERIOUSLY NOW, what the fuck am i going to do with my life!?!!!?!?!?!?!!? *!!*$&%)@( @# homerow asdf;lkj wink ;)

Right now i'm looking for a job, anywhere other than a damn call center, but i think the force is too much. I see a hypnotizing cycle, graduate from hs, go to echostar, make ok bank, study buisness/communications/partying at UTEP. Totally worth it. I really hope it's not. I'm looking for a job at the Geek Squad, Comp USA, (Crappy nerd job). I rather do that than go back to a call center. They=debil

My cousins b-day is on june 6th

I need to relieve some stress, lets go....

To peter piper
Paintball
Have a beer
Talk about old times
Fuck ;)
Play Nintendo
Play Monopoly
Light shit on fire.

Anyone up for that stuff? I guess not...

Thinking right now, is it really important for people to find out what i am thinknig? Will anyone reply to this? Even if they don't i really don't expect anyone to do so, after all this blog has always been a place for me to vent on current events. MySpace sucks.

Ya'll take it easy.


i suck at writing :(

52nd Post

Friends will always let you down. Family is the only thing you can depend on.

Pissed isnt the word to described it. Neither is angry for that matter. Not even frustrated, let's just say that i am lost. Again. Fuck. But this time i feel even more alone, more separated, and more confused. I really don't know what is wrong with me. I think i am bitter. Yea, thats the word. Bitter. I can't smile. I can't recieve the good things without looking at the bad. I don't know why. I am just being a steriotipical HS person. We have to go through it, some of us hide it very well. But onece again ill use my blog to vent. What to say about my situation right now......
I am not sure if i have any friends. I feel like no one is giving me the time to talk, everyone seems to of forgotten about me. No one has called. Yea, it's a bit emo, but you can just shut the fuck up. No one remembers old carlos. And my couple of "Friends" havent spoken to me or even tryed to. Which sucks because i know they have gone out and shit. No one even cares to give me the time of day. Im not pissed. Nor sad, or even disturbed about this. I knew it was going to happen, but why does it bother me, that it ISN'T bothering me? It's kind of hard for me to care about anything. Once again, bitter.

It's funny how little i know my "friends" even the close ones. It is funny that you can acctually count on one hand the ammount of people i have had a good conversation, im not saying a deep or intimate one, just a decent conversation. It is really pathetic if you think about it. But its my fault. I am antisocial, anti-derivitive ;-), and a big fucking prick ass pussy. Fuck me.

My name is Depresio. And the few people that do read this. Will do so on their own terms. Only caring about making themselves feel better when they say something nice and I give a fake smile. Fucking self-serving mofo's :) [Yea, it may not be all of you, i know who is true. Ty, but dont worry im just being an emo child right now. ^_^]


What more can i say.

All my "friends" are self-serving pricks like me. but fuck, sometimes you just need to fucking actually CARE. I know i do, i try so hard to make everyone confortable, be fair, and just be a FRIEND. I don't even care if people notice, but damn. It sure would be nice if I didn't have to beg someone to hang out with them. Im not pissed, or angry. Im just trying to make cence of it all.

Everything i do, i do it from the heart. People don't know that. Just thought it put it on the table


"....but i tell you; This whole time I never did find out if he was on drugs or just retarded. Well, good night :-)"

51st Post

Just looking into her eyes....then I realize I forgot to notice her smile.

So much to say, so little will on my part to elaborate on my melody. So I'll make it short, sweet, and a little dirty. Meaning in list form.

1. Goin to DeVry (Yea, i know....)
2. My mp3 player wen't to hell. That bastard couldn't handle my work load. The FUck up.
3. MySpace has ruined what little hope i had of my fellow man.
4. Dog Fight 4
5. I sat on the roof and kicked off the moss
Well a few of the verses well they've got me quite cross
But the sun's been quite kind while I wrote this song
It's for people like you that keep it turned on

Im also very sick. I hope it goes away soon. More recently though. I had to make a PowerPoint Presentation. Turns out I'm not very creative.

What to say though. Lots of stuff, but that's all it is. Stuff. Nothing really exciting, nothing entertaining, nothing. I'm just living my life. I could open up and give random bablings about something that has struck me as "Important", but i feel like shit, and not much higher-thinking could be done with me having to blow my nose for every line i write. But then again, when have i run away from self deprevision and mutilation?

FSM
Oh yes... It's offencive, moking, and oh soooooooooooooo, true.

I know some people will not get it, but for those of you who do i agree with what he is doing. Why should beliefs like that be force fed down our throughts. Its funny to think that people will say "You can't prove crap with this", but the fact is that some of these evangelics will not get it either. They are contradicting themselves with this. If ID is taught in schools, what stops people from teaching Scientology in the classroom. It all seems silly, but the narrow minded and stuborn will go crazy trying to put a lid on what is happening. (As i said, random bablings.)

Im to pissed with my nose to keep writing.

Don't be afraid to post comments.

50th Post

50th post and what do i have to show for it?

I just read something. Chappa's blog. Funny how philosophical that guy can be. But it wasn't his technique, or grammar. Hell, it wasn't his charisma either. Just the damn points he mentiond. He is a graduate, he is missing what once was a neat little childhood. Funny to think that will be me at post 100. lol. Hard to imagine me in one year from now. College just comes ever closer. Secretly, i really don't think anyone will care that i'm gone. I convince myself that people do consider me a friend that they will miss. I hope so.

Man, it's hard to think right now. It feels weird. I'm thinking but then again it just seems kind of pointless compared to everything else that is going on. Everyone is rushing and hoping to do something with their lives. For the 1% of you that acctually took the advice that your Senior friends gave you...kudos to you. But for the rest of us, yea, even Mr./Mrs. top 10....WTF are we doing??????! We have procrastinated and now we are really screwed.lol WTF is a MAJOR, a MINOR???? How the hell do we expect to know where the class is at? Panic. Thats what im feeling.

My car broke down. It sux because i wont get another one...and no it wasn't my fault.

Im just really feeling...not depressed. Just a little blue. I don't know why.

NOthing more to comment on. Im just thinking as usual and that's about it.

GG guys.

49th Post

Ah yes, some news.

I couldn't find my time card. From that moment I knew it had hit the fan.

FIRED, yea, i got fired. It sux, but I am not at all shacken by it. It was a funny story really.

The Story: (Skip this if you are a jerk :P)

I couldn't find my time card. From that moment I knew it had hit the fan. It started the first day, your first enemys. You go in, find out the bitches from the ho's from the retarded. Easy work, boring work, bull shit work. I always made sure my co-workers knew what was on my mind, wether it would concern the bitch at the front or how stupid some of these "Executive" employee's were. It would all get said to my fellow patron to my left or my right. The way most of these tools would either end up getting fired because of bloated salaries and end up at EchoStar. How the you-know-that-bitch-is-a-whore's is going to end up with that guy she was in love with in HS and then fuck one last time just for her to get pregnant and then have the guy deny ever knowing the girl...at least she has a fancy job paying $9.50.

Then one day, Mr. SAT came around. The conversation:

!!: I'm not going to be able to make it to work on Sat
Head Manager: Are you still on your 2 week training?
!!:Yea, but I have to take the SAT on saturday.
HM: Yeah, that changes things, I'll write your make up here so there won't be any problems.
!!(Almost saddend that I wouldn't have to quit): Ok, great

Later...

Floor Walker (those are the one's that give you shit if you are being a prick): Ok, you are free to go home
!!:SWEET!!!!

FW: Make one survey and you can go home
(I complete my survey)
!!:SWEET!!!!

FW: AH-34?
!!:Yea
FW: You can go home
!!:SWEEKT!!!!

Yea, I was OK at my job. But I never onece stayed for extra hours. I reached over minimum, but I never stayed the full shift. AND I NEVER HIT THE MUTE BUTTON TO GOD.

Official Reason for Termination... "Failed to complete training during probation period"
(WTF, Isn't training 2 weeks?WTF? I WAS ON PROBATION!??)

REAL reason... I'm a prick! w00t!

(Teh, cliffs!)
Yea, the guy's I would systematically bash, were the same fucks who would review my preformance. Yea, I didn't ask questions. I didn't care. Now I'm looking for a keg in celebration. I'll pay to fill up.

The new year...

Yea I hope this year goes easy on me. I know it wont, but I like that word...hope. I am scared honestly. I'm scared to see what the real world will bring out of me. I mean, I couldn't even keep a job at BRS. What makes me think I can make it college? But I don't care. It is just the begining of a lot of bs stories that I'll complain about here. Damn. lol

I really hope this new year brings happyness to all of my friends (close, new, not so close, and olden) and family. Health and happyness.

Last year....
Yea, this past year was not at all bad. I learned alot about myself and possibly others.

Good friends, Good Food, Good Rants, Good Game

!!The Good Guy!!