But don't think twice. It's alright.

It just get's tighter. Kind of like when you're hyperventilating but you just can't calm that rush of adrenaline that piles up right at your sternum. Now it just hurts, eventually though. It will strengthen, just become a tightened mass, nothing being able to penetrate or damage it.

So far, it's been rough. They say the first 3 days are the hardest when you quit anything. It feels as if time stops. Every second that passes, it gets exponentially further. No hope for it to come back.(depending on who you are it can be good or bad)

Every second, I can remember something. A moment, it flashes. It's never anything bad, just random. A hug here, a blank stare, a hair, a white hair, the bear on the bed, ahead in the lunch line. Near the lane, a song in my ear, the subtle fear during a movie. Her face at night, while we talked. While she talked. Listening, wanting, leading, learning, fearing, smiling, laughing, walking. Everything.

I hope it's not like I am picturing it, I would be sad.