31st Post
Back to square one.
Here i am again, i have to do a pile of homework but its the middle of the night and im updating this thing. Fuck im a loser. I have been looking through my archives and about 50% of them i start with saying "Fuck i have alot of homework". No wonder i have such low grades. But it was fun while it lasted. Right now i need to stop lookin back, and live in the present. Shit is not the same as it was 3months ago. Fuck. It sux now, i have no gf, no band, no friends, and no one to talk to....well mabe not that bad. But right now i need to find myself, be myself, and show myself.I am lost. I am kind of sad too. I dont want to give a fuck anymore, but i cant drop sertain things. FUCKYDY FUCK FUCK. See and the sad thing is that i know i will look back and say "fuck i was really over reacting at that age". That is insane. Mabe i am just thinkn about this way too much, or making everything too complicated, or taking everything to hard. I hate myself....so if i hate myself, i cant find myself is that it? Im not facing reality. That is the question. So now i will be clearing myself of everything, just fucking all the bullshit, then i will gather the facts on who i am, then just be myself. FUCK, why is it hard to clear my head!! I used to be able to do it so easily. I guess i need some closure, and time....
So today was the first day of school. Man i hate school, everthing is just a waste of time. I'm getting tired of everyone, but i havent talked to anyone. I am in a bad moood. School sucked, i found out i need to do my science project by tomorrow, but i lost all my results, i hope miss blow gives me an extention. Fuck i hate her, the bitch wont fucking give me the extention, first of all she hates me, secondly she knows i hate her, and lastly i know she didnt have a Happy vacation because the bitch has no family, all she has is a fucking picture of her decaying mother. Fuck chemistry. Fuck i hate myself right now, im taking all my anger out on the people who dont need it. I am fucking confused, and i hate it when i dont know how to solve something. Fuck im pissed at the world and not myself, why hate myself when its easyer to hate soemthing else? I need to solve some shit. Fuck im a lunatic
Lost since birth...ME
Buh bye.
3 comments:
you have friends to talk to so don't start saying that you have no friends. If you want to take out your anger then just talk to someone or write it down. Don't start saying that you have no one to talk to because you have a shit load of people to talk to........ and I should probably leave you alone......... sorry for distubing you.
Well, i guess i dont have friends. Case closed. But i dont have anyone to talk to about this dilema i am in, only mabe one person, but communication between us is bloched, but i dont want to bring up this becaues i dont think its anyones fault xcept mine, so im going to have to deal with all this shit alone.
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