Doin’ thangs.

That’s all I’ve been doing. Discovering doing stupid shit and pretending that no one is watching. But they are. Everyone is watching. At all times. They are the one’s who start the talking. You’re just around listening to the music when they start to talk.

Then, you’re given a task to do. Why? I’m not sure, but they go up to you and start talking .Why are you talking? Do I know you? When is the last time we talked? There is nothing to say then. Nothing to say unless…

Unless you’re a jackass like me. I try to be cool with everyone that at least gives that bullshit smile. Everyone that gives you an eye that you’re just not into…. Yeah, that’s them. Those people that are too “curteous” and “respectful” to tell you what you both know. You both know there is no reason to spend time with people you don’t want to get to know.

But I’m a nice guy!

At least until I start smoking cigarettes and drinking drink. Then everything turns loose. My honesty get’s me in trouble.

When you light up right before talking to a bitch your friend loves…. That’s when you know that you can either blow the smoke on you or on her. It’s up to her to realize that nothing was said other than, how are you? Was it my fault that I’m trying to be friendly?

Am I the one with the problem? Do I want to make friends with people that look me in the eye and smile? Are they faking that smile?

But that’s me. An honest guy.

Instant communication

[I could easily make this into a sort of personal thing, but why bother?]

The thing is, this instant communication thing is not kind. The moment you have a deep imperial thought, it is known to the rest of the world. "A man can live and feel the top for a moment" that's the instant of what people live on. These peaks of grandeur, adrenaline, deep insight. For some people, those are the points when life matters.

The thing is, when I see it, the graph almost resembles a jagged mountain. You see the small peaks, you see the small slopes downward and upward. But this all leads to not appreciating what is really around you, living in the "moment".. Not really taking into account what... God has given you. (but who's to say they don't?)

Although, some might consider God, it is not a sure insight of what they feel. Arrogance is a bitch.

For many people the small breaks that life brings them, are motivation to keep going for the next break. For me, it's more like, the small breaks are a part of something bigger. So I better keep going. I'm not riding the wave, I'm a part of it.

"Conformity is okay, only if it keeps you going forward"

[wow, that's kinda redundant]